How One Minute a Day Grounds My Week

There are seasons in life where the big things feel overwhelming — big goals, big transitions, big responsibilities. But lately, I’ve been realizing something simple: it’s not the big things that hold me together.

It’s the small ones.

The little rhythms.
The few seconds of intention.
The tiny pauses where I check back in with myself and with God.

For me, one of those small-but-mighty habits is something so simple it almost feels silly to mention:
spending one minute each morning looking at my calendar.

But that single minute?
It grounds my entire week.

What Is a Purpose-Driven Micro-Habit?

A micro-habit is just a tiny action you repeat consistently.
Not a major overhaul.
Not a full routine.
Just one, small, intentional step.

Purpose-driven micro-habits are the ones that bring you back to:

  • who you are,
  • what matters,
  • and where God is leading you.

They’re not about productivity — they’re about alignment.
They help create space for peace, focus, and spiritual clarity.

And they don’t require a whole morning routine or a complicated system.
Often, they’re barely a minute long.

My Calendar System: More Than Organization

I’m a calendar person — always have been.
I use a weekly desktop calendar where I can physically see my week spread out, and I also keep everything in my phone where reminders can find me.

It’s a solid system.
But systems aren’t what change us.

The micro-action inside the system is what gives it meaning.

Over the years, I’ve realized it’s not the calendars themselves that ground me.
It’s the one tiny moment where I check in with them — and with myself — each morning.

🌞 The 60-Second Daily Preview

Here’s my micro-habit, scaled down to its simplest form:

Every morning, I take one minute to glance at my day.

Not plan it.
Not control it.
Not try to do everything at once.
Just see it.

Sixty seconds.
One small breath.
A soft orientation.

During that minute, I ask:

  • What matters today?
  • Where is my energy needed?
  • What can wait?
  • And quietly… “God, guide my steps.”

It’s amazing how one tiny moment of clarity can calm your whole day.
It takes the pressure off.
It turns chaos into intention.
It gives God room to speak into the little things before the day speaks loudly on its own.

Why This Micro-Habit Works (Spiritually + Practically)

There’s a scripture that has always spoken to me:

“One who is faithful in very little will also be faithful in much.”
— Luke 16:10a

This is the heartbeat of micro-habits.

God doesn’t always start with the big assignments.
Often, He starts in the small spaces — the quiet, barely-noticeable moments where we choose intention over autopilot.

Being faithful in very little looks like:

  • one minute of clarity,
  • one single prayer,
  • one small act of alignment.

When we honor the small, God trusts us with the larger things.
And the practical benefit is just as powerful:

  • You feel calmer.
  • You feel prepared.
  • You feel connected to purpose.
  • You show up with clarity instead of rushing in blind.

One minute becomes the anchor for the other 1,439 minutes of your day.

The Synergy of God in Small Rhythms

I’ve always believed that God works through synergy — the beautiful connection between our small actions and His larger plans. We bring the little, and He multiplies it into much.

This one-minute habit reminds me of that synergy every single day.

Especially after seasons where I’ve felt off-center or uncertain, this tiny ritual has helped me reconnect. It’s not dramatic or flashy. It’s just consistent. It’s faithful. And God meets me there.

We think purpose lives in the big decisions, but often, purpose grows in the small daily choices we make with intention.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’re feeling scattered, overwhelmed, or just pulled in too many directions, try choosing one micro-habit this week.

Not a whole routine.
Not a major life overhaul.
Just one small, steady action.

Here are a few ideas:

  • One minute with your calendar
  • One line of gratitude
  • One verse of scripture
  • One deep breath before you start your car
  • One encouraging text to someone God puts on your heart

Small things matter more than we think.
Sometimes they matter the most.

Walking in purpose, thinking in synergy.

Finding My Center Again: What Losing Taught Me About Emotional Agility

Eighteen months ago, I went through something that knocked me off balance in a way I didn’t expect. After twenty years of serving my community — building projects, strengthening neighborhoods, bringing new ideas to life — I ran for re-election as Mayor of New Martinsville. I poured my heart, experience, and vision into that race.

And I lost.

Now, on paper, it was a simple outcome. Someone wins, someone doesn’t. But emotionally? It hit differently. This wasn’t just a professional disappointment. It shook something deeper — my sense of identity, purpose, and connection to the work I’d spent two decades doing.

For several months afterwards, I felt… off-center. Not broken. Not defeated. Just not quite myself.

When Your Identity Shifts, Even Slightly, You Feel It Everywhere

People sometimes think loss — political or otherwise — is just an external event. But when you’ve spent years showing up for others, investing your time, energy, and heart into a place you love, the outcome feels personal. It touches who you believe yourself to be.

That’s what happened to me.

After the election, my usual energy was muted. My outgoing, engaging, roll-up-my-sleeves self was still there somewhere, just operating at half-volume. I found myself asking quiet questions like:

“Who am I when the role I hoped for doesn’t materialize?”
“What stays true about me when a title slips away?”
“Where does my purpose live now?”

Did I even want to continue in public service?

Those questions weren’t dramatic — they were honest. And honesty is where healing lives.

I Didn’t Bounce Back. I Rebuilt.

Looking back now, I can see that I didn’t just “get over it.” That’s not how real emotional recovery works. I moved through the experience slowly, thoughtfully, and compassionately.

I let myself feel disappointed without rushing it away.
I reminded myself that a title is a role — not my identity.
I gave myself grace on the days when I felt less like “me” and more like a muted version of myself.

And then, I started doing what has always brought me home:

  • Conversations with people I care about
  • Re-engaging in community projects
  • Pouring myself back into the work of helping others
  • Small daily habits that reconnect me with purpose

Not because I was forcing a comeback… but because those things naturally help me reconnect with my center.

The Turning Point Was Quiet

There wasn’t a dramatic moment where I suddenly felt renewed. It wasn’t a scene from a movie.

One day, I just noticed that my energy was back.
My spark had returned.
My voice felt like mine again — strong, warm, steady.
I was laughing more. Planning more. Dreaming more.

I felt ready to engage again, fully and authentically.

That’s when I knew:
I had found my center again.

What This Taught Me About Emotional Agility

We often think resilience means bouncing back fast. But that’s not true resilience. That’s pressure.

Real resilience is quieter.
It’s slower.
It’s more human.

For me, emotional agility meant allowing myself to move through each phase honestly:
the confusion,
the disappointment,
the reflection,
the rebuilding,
and finally, the return.

It meant staying curious about my own emotions instead of fighting them.
It meant giving myself permission to adjust instead of springing back.

Emotional agility is not about snapping back. It’s about finding your way forward with honesty and grace.

Life Didn’t Go the Way I Imagined — But I Did Not Lose Myself

Losing the election didn’t diminish my purpose. It clarified it.

It reminded me that leadership isn’t defined by position — it’s defined by how we show up when things don’t go our way.

I’m still here.
Still serving.
Still creating.
Still building.
Still loving this community with every part of me.

And now, in many ways, I’m more aligned than ever.

A Gentle Invitation to You

If you’re facing a setback of your own — big or small — give yourself permission to move through it at your own pace. Notice where you feel off-center, and take one gentle step today toward reconnecting with who you are.

You don’t have to bounce back.
You just have to keep moving forward.

What’s YOUR Tag Say?

I am a registered democrat. And having read that, have you formulated an idea of who I am, what I believe, and how I behave? What if I had said I am a registered republican? Would your idea of who I am, what I believe, and how I behave be different?

We want the world to be black and white. We want it all to be simple. If X, then Y. That might work in math, but it certainly doesn’t work in physics. Just ask anyone who is involved in quantum mechanics. What we can be certain of is that we cannot be certain.

And that is true of humanity. I am so much more than my political affiliation, or my religious affiliation. I do not blindly play follow the leader. I read, I investigate, I look at varying opinions and check out the research. In some things I agree with my democratic friends, in some things I agree with my republican friends, and in some things I agree with my Christian friends. But I also have my own opinions on most things.

I am so much more than my gender identity, my marital status, or my ethnicity. Those things describe aspects of me but tell you nothing about who I am or what I believe. There is a reason we are taught not to judge one another. My parents always said to me, (and I know it is not politically correct in today’s world) “don’t judge someone else until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.” In the bible, Jesus framed it as “if someone forces you to walk with him a mile, walk with him two instead.” In other words, do the unexpected and lean into experiencing the other person’s life. Even when forced to do so, which is the most incredible part of that statement. Jesus obviously was not talking about a friend who is asking you to go for a walk.

What about you? Who in your life elicits the most immediate judgement? And how well do you know them? I will admit, there are times when we have to let people go. And there are also many more times that I see someone, and just their appearance will cause me to make a judgement on who they are. I fight that instinct with every fiber of my being. I stop it as soon as I am aware of the thoughts. The truth is, I do not know what you are going through today, or what you have been through in your life. And until I have taken the time to get to know you, I have no right to categorize you.

We need to live life with intention. With the intent of being kind, loving, and merciful. The type of love that God offers to us – asking nothing of us except that we accept his free gift and pass it on. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. Against these things there is no law.

And as for me, what does my tag say? I follow The Way.

Self-Talk Matters

Remember the peanuts character with the dust bowl swirling around him? That’s how your brain is – lots of thoughts just swirling around with no place to go. According to Queen’s University in Canada, it is about 6,000 per day or 6.5 per minute. So,about every 10 seconds your brain is coming up with another thought.

And those thoughts matter. They can inspire us, they can move us, or they can depress us and hold us hostage. And until you become mindful of those swirling thoughts, you won’t even be aware of how they are controlling you.

I will admit, I cannot keep up with 6,000 thoughts a day! But I can become more aware of those thoughts that are holding me hostage. You know, that tape recorder that keeps playing in your head – you aren’t good enough, you aren’t smart enough, you’re not as pretty as, you’ll never amount to much, etc. Most of us have heard some version of those things in our life, and our propensity is to hold on to the negative things that were said about us instead of the positive. Why do we do that? I do not know.

I will use my favorite example. I tell people all the time that I am an introvert. And they just laugh – because you would not know that by observation. When I was much, much younger (8 or 9 years old) I was very gregarious. I was organizing street parades in our neighborhood by the time I was four. And then one day, I accompanied my mother (a businesswoman) to a luncheon at a local restuarant. She was meeting with a supplier and for some reason that day I had to tag along. The music is playing over the radio, and as my mother and the businessman were discussing very important things, I started bebopping in my seat. My mother looked at me very sternly and said, “Can’t you ever sit still?”

The same mother who corrected my English, complimented my grades, told me I could grow up to be anything I wanted, showered me with love, was now expecting me to be still. I took it to heart. And for many, many years I became the wallflower. Never making waves, did not want to be noticed, and certainly never wanted to be the center of attention. From that moment on, I was an introvert. Actually, for the next 25 or 30 years, I was an introvert.

And then I began listening to the tape in my head. And asking self-reflective questions as to why I believed certain things. That moment in the restaurant jumped into the forefront of my consciousness. And the more mature me, explained to the younger me, the intention behind my mother’s words. She was just frustrated in the moment and not at all intending to squash my enthusiasm. It took me awhile to come fully out of my shell and there are moments, even now, when I question whether I should raise my hand or speak out. But I know that in those moments I am using discernment, not out of fear of judgement but out of respect and prudence.

That was the beginning of the end for the tape in my head that feared judgement. That is what it boiled down to – I feared criticism and judgement. Now? I still do not want to bring shame to either my family or my faith, but I know who and whose I am. I am free to be me.

DEI To Be or Not to Be

DIVERSITY EQUITY INCLUSIVITY

It’s only three words.

Diversity – it just means a variety. As the saying goes, variety is the spice of life. How boring would life be if we were not diverse: diverse in our attitudes, diverse in our vocations, diverse in our sex!

Equity – a quality of fairness. Unfortunately, life is not always fair. But don’t we want it to be? Isn’t that what we scream at our parents when we are young, “But it’s not fair!’ It is certainly a quality for which to aspire.

Inclusivity – the fact of including all types of people, things, and ideas. Everyone has a seat at the table. There are no stupid ideas or questions. A safe space for everyone and everything.

Keep it simple. I am a fairly simple woman and was brought up to not think more highly of myself than others. I was brought up in an area of the country that does not have a lot of diversity in its population, nonetheless I have friendships across the spectrum of ethnicities and faiths that are in my community. And, oh, I do so want life to be fair. I want those who do wrong to be held accountable and those who do right to be praised. As for inclusivity, everyone is welcome. Come one and come all. We are much stronger together than we are apart.

It’s only three words. Packed with dynamite in today’s political climate. Here is the definition from Wikipedia: In the United States, diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) are organizational frameworks that seek to promote the fair treatment and full participation of all people, particularly groups who have historically been underrepresented or subject to discrimination based on identity or disability.

So, here is the deal. Remove DEI from your conversations, your policies, and your speeches. That does not mean you remove it from your life. I am still going to love a variety of people, and I am still going to work towards the quality of fairness, and I will still have a seat at the table for anyone who wishes to participate.

To be, or not to be? That is entirely up to you.

Just Begin

Are you a procrastinator? I used to be, and sometimes I can feel the procrastination beginning to take over once again. Now, though, I understand that what I have always blamed on procrastination might be something called decision fatigue.

How many decisions do you make in a day? It’s estimated that the average adult person makes 35,000 decisions a day. Really? That seems an enormous number to me but most of those decisions we don’t really “think” about , even though we are thinking about them. Which shoes are you wearing today? What are you having for/where are you going for lunch? Coffee with cream or black? An endless stream of questions that our brain handles effortlessly. Most of the time.

Now 35,000 is an average. And I will bet you are above average. Busier than the average person and wearing more hats than the average person. Your number is probably much higher than 35,000 and that brings us to decision fatigue. Focus is gone, you know you have things you need to get moving on, but NOT RIGHT NOW. And no matter how much you want to, you just can’t fathom what the right decision might be. That is where I am at this moment. My brain is refusing to focus on any one thing so here I am, sharing my experience with you, knowing that you have been through the same thing probably just as often a I.

Getting proper sleep is important, as is proper nutrition. Exercise, as in get up and go take a walk, is also crucial to overcoming decision fatigue. Give yourself time to relax and re-energize before you begin. That is the plan for today. And soon, the decision fatigue will pass, and I will just begin again. And that is the secret to overcoming procrastination – just begin. Before you know it you are engrossed in your project and wondering where the time went. But for right now, decision fatigue is real and it’s time to just chill.

ESoup 4 Life

Combining proven tools from leadership, faith, and relationships into an Eclectic Soup of simple, optimal, useful principles that add value to every day.

Your Granddaughter Is Selling Pornographic Cookies

Yep, that’s what I said to my husband. Our granddaughter has a sweet little cookie business and it was about a month from Valentine’s Day when I saw her advertisement on social media. It had to be a typo – maybe she meant to say peonies. There were several options for cookie packages, one of which was a dozen penis cookies with dipping icing included. So I sent her a text message asking if this was a typo. Nope, it was what it said. Then I just burst out laughing and ordered a dozen.

I was one of several people who messaged her about the “typo”. And it reinforces for me what I have always admired about this millennial generation. They do not see our bodies as something to feel guilty about. Your body is natural, nature at its finest. And at the same time, they don’t want you to make them feel guilty about their bodies. As older adults we might look at the clothing options and consider them too sexy but that’s on us – not on them. We were made to feel guilty if we showed too much skin, or cleavage, or leg.

They like to look good, they like to take selfies, they like the model pose, the pursed lips, the “I am looking fine” attitude. Can we just take a minute to realize how refreshing that is? I don’t want to perpetuate in any way the idea that you need to look a certain way to be loved and accepted. I want to perpetuate the idea that you are okay just as you are. And that is what I see in this generation. An acceptance of people just as they are.

I used to marvel at their ability to hang out in groups, boys and girls, all together having a great time. Life was much more segregated in my day. Girls had their activities and they were different than the boys. And we were encouraged to be different. When I was a sophomore in high school, I wanted to take mechanical drawing. I was told that girls typically did not take mechanical drawing and that with my grade point average I should be in college prep classes, not mechanical drawing. I didn’t argue – I was 15 years old and listened to the advice that was given. It is now many years later and I cannot tell you how many times I have wished that I had kicked up a fuss and insisted that I be allowed to take that class. Especially when I discovered that one of my female classmates was allowed!

So here is grandma, learning to take selfies. (Still not very good at it. ) Learning to celebrate who I am, every day, just as I am. I pray that you will, too.

And in case you are wondering – the cookies were delicious!

“Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.” Anonymous.

Esoup 4 Life

Combining proven tools from leadership, faith, and relationships into an Eclectic Soup of simple, optimal, useful principles that add value to every day.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Don’t you think that most people just want to be heard? I mean really heard and understood? We put so much burden on one another by adding a significance we envision to the words that someone else has spoken. Let’s look at an example. A coworker comes up to you and says, “I heard what you said last week.” Where does your mind go? Are you suddenly trying to remember every conversation you had with everyone about the coworker? (If it is, I hope you weren’t trash talking.) Let’s try putting the emphasis on different words:

I HEARD what you said last week.

I heard WHAT you said last week.

I heard what YOU said last week.

I heard what you SAID last week.

Does the emphasis make a difference in your reaction? Sure it does. But with some discipline, you can learn not to react to someone’s pattern of speech because most people are not consciously aware of what words they are emphasizing unless they really are trying to make a point – and that is most often very obvious. Instead, the problem usually arises when we react to what is being said without receiving any feedback. It could be due to our own sense of guilt (were you trash talking your coworker behind his/her back?) or a past experience with the one who is speaking (have you had a major difference of opinion before?).

So diffuse before you have any reaction. As brightly and nonjudgmentally as possible ask “What did you hear?” If you had been gossiping and that is what was heard, own it. Apologize if necessary even if you don’t feel like apologizing. Admit that you should not have been gossiping (or trash talking). Taking responsibility is very disarming because it is so unexpected and can go a long way towards repairing the breach. Maybe what was heard was a compliment. That’s an easy win. If it was a criticism of something, explain why but again not in a judgmental way. Don’t get personal about it – keep it work oriented. And always agree to disagree. Take ownership, explain where necessary, and then refuse to engage any further in defensive posturing.

Take the high road. Most people carry enough pain that we do not need to be adding to their burden. And if the coworker is defensive, and trying to explain their actions, please just listen until they are through. You do not need to interrupt with your opinion because they already have heard that. Now they need validation that you understand them and their why. The same principles apply in all relationships, not just working ones. As a woman, when I am explaining something that is bothering me to my husband, I really do not want him to fix it. I just want him to listen. No need to tell me what I should do or how I should handle things until I ask. And that’s where we miss the boat the most – we want to hand out our advice before being asked.

If you are spending your time in a conversation thinking about how you are going to respond, you really are not listening. Listening is active, not passive. Active listening with feedback – tell me more, how did it make you feel – can really make the other person feel valued, heard, and understood.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Proverbs 25:11 ESV

ESoup 4 Life

Combing proven tools from leadership, faith, and relationships into an Eclectic Soup of simple, optimal, useful principles that add value to every day.

Frame Your World

I have been accused of being a Pollyanna, of looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. My agreement with those statements is because I am an optimist. I believe that good will ultimately prevail and that nice guys finish first. How do you frame your world? As your host for ESoup 4 Life, my goal is to give you simple, optimal, useful principles that will add value to your day. One of those principles is that everyone frames their world; there is a paradigm that you have learned and have come to accept that colors not only your view of the world, but also your relationships.

When that changes, you create a powerful paradigm shift. The secret is that you are in control of that shift. You determine what you choose to believe. For the first 40 years of my life, I believed myself to be a shy, introvert who was more interested in books than in groups of people. In a conversation with a trusted group of friends, I admitted that my biggest fear was rejection and also that I was very insecure. That came as a surprise to my friends because it was not how they saw me, but it was how I felt.

It is amazing how our feelings and emotions keep us from reaching our highest potential. The things we tell ourselves can hold us back or raise us up. So we must explore the tape that plays in our head, figure out why we are telling ourselves those things, and then determine the truth. That will shift your mindset and your paradigm and allow you to frame your world the way you desire your world to be.

Esoup 4 Life

Combining proven tools from leadership, faith, and relationships into an Eclectic Soup of simple, optimal, useful principles that add value to every day.